I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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