Cold hands, warm shart.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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