Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I can tuck mytits in my pants
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
