dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
