I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
