I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
