She is in my trunk
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
