He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
