Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
