Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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