you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
birth control should be required to get into college
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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