Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
