He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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