Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
