i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i dont even know how to be here
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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