My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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