how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You made out with two different species that night
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
