boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
