I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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