I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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