Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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