She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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