who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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