I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
