I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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