The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
