she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
