Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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