she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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