come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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