I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
