I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
