So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
