My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
