I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
