We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
false alarm, still single
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