I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
