So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
