i always forget guys have bellybuttons
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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