fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
