the day after is always just damage control
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
