I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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