So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
