fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
