Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
