Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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