What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
