Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
only you would photoshop your dick
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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