Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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