how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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