dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
